A spiffing day all round

Had I googled Russell Square underground station in advance I would have found the following information:

"Russell Square station has three lifts but no escalators . The platforms can also be reached using a spiral staircase with 175 steps."

Lyn did find out before we were committed, and so we rode the top deck of the no. 91 bus instead. Great way to begin our orientation. From Trafalgar Square we set off in search of the information office to pick up our London Pass. We began the first of the two spotto games I'm sure all tourists must play: "Who is that statue?" and "Isn't that in Monopoly?"

While I secured our pass Lyn found souvenir ducks. There were Bobby ducks, Union Jack ducks, Beefeater ducks and Houses of Parliament ducks. We left with Lyn proudly clutching her new Sherlock Holmes duck.

Despite numerous distractions like this ...

Lyn, new duck, horseguard, horse and headless man in tasteless shirt.

... we eventually reached the Thames and took a sightseeing cruise all the way to Greenwich. We quickly realised two things: British guides are genuinely funny and the British do museums infinitely better than, well, anybody. The guide on the boat was a waterman - our guide later on in the day was a Beefeater. The former was honest, laidback and self-depreciating, the latter was an absolute star. Everything we saw today was informative, well laid out and had things for kids (and adults to touch). The Vatican should come here and learn how it is done.

We heard Big Ben strike 12, the Tower Bridge was raised on cue, Greenwich was serene, and on the way back we got off at the Tower of London and serendipitously caught a beefeater-led tour. (Lyn informed me that beefeaters must have served 22 years in the army.) This guy had great delivery and knew his audience. "For all you members of the British Commonwealth, all this is your history too. And for all of you Americans, it could have been yours if only you'd paid your taxes." "This is called the Watergate (pause for effect) (smile) Yes we had one first. And guess what? No leaks. (Boom tish.)"

Then our moment of corruption - great fish and chips as our afternoon tea while perched above the moat.

Finally Lyn was ready to brave the underground. We caught the Circle Line from Tower Bridge to St Pancras and walked home via Waitrose. A spiffing day all round and a quiet night and then prepare for maybe Westminster Abbey and ‘Billy Elliot’ tomorrow.